What Matters Most

Do not be fooled, social media post, gifts, chocolate, and flowers are not what makes up a marriage. 

Don't get me wrong, I love these things just as much as the next person. However, it's important that we realize that they are not what matters most. We can spend waste a lot of our time comparing our relationship to the "perfect" one we see on social media. Let me make something super clear, social media hides a lot! It's time to stop comparing and realize that we all have flaws & hardships. It's time to realize that a relationship is made up of more humble apologies, "I forgive you's", a lot of grace, and selfless love. 

As newlyweds, Christian and I have been trying to figure out this whole marriage thing. We are now a little over 3 months in. I wouldn't go as far as to call us "pros"; However, we are now offering marriage counseling on the side(lol).  Marriage did take a lot of adjusting & getting use to though. I think now we are finally settled, have established a routine, and have adjusted to our new life together. It's so fun y'all, married life is great! Like I said though, one of the things we figured out early on is that marriage takes constant work & effort from both parties. 

We've all been there, you stayed up way too late & have to get up way too early. This morning I was tired, hangry, and had no coffee in hand (which made it hard to even crack a smile). Needless to say, it wasn't even 7AM yet and I had already been forgiven multiple times. Love , is choosing to love the other person selflessly despite their flaws. Despite their tired crankiness, their unexplainable emotions, and the fact that they can't figure out how a dirty clothes basket works. Love is selflessly loving & selflessly helping. Waking up to make breakfast when it would be much easier to stay in bed, cleaning together, it's walking the dog, or making the bed just because you know she likes it that way. 

Selflessly-- I used that word, the one we all LOVE to hear, a couple of times. It's hard to be selfless in a marriage and near about impossible to do it on your own. We too often read things and think of selflessness as just another marriage strategy. I have learned that selflessness is a transformation of your heart through Jesus. You see, to be selfless, is to be more like Him. Jesus loved us so much & so selflessly that He willingly gave His life to save ours. That's the kind of love we want to mimic in our marriages.

I pray that our eyes begin to open to the beauty and wholeness of selfless love. I pray that we begin to see our spouse through the eyes of Christ. To know that despite their flaws, they are precious, they are loved and that they are worthy. Let us begin to whole heartily pursue Jesus in our daily lives & in return learn how to properly love our spouse.